The Vegetable Slayer

I am a sucker for in-home salespeople. I don't know if it's because people in that line of work are ridiculously good at their job, or if I am just too tender-hearted to turn them away empty handed. Either way, my checkbook always takes a hit. You would think that after coming to this conclusion I would never let another salesperson in the door. Sadly, my ability to say "no" does not match up with my ability to self-analyze.

And that is why I let the Cutco Guy through the door. Oh sure, he was just going to sharpen the knife set we got as a wedding present, but inevitably, his shiny wares made their way onto my kitchen table. "Try them out" he said, with a glint in his eye. My husband and I had discussed the possibility of upgrading our Santoku knife before hand, and even set a dollar limit, so I was feeling pretty responsible. I got out my cutting board and a few vegetables and went to work. "Oh, carrots? Here, try this peeler", the Cutco Guy offered with faux innocence. Of course, the peeler was amazing. It didn't hurt that my current peeler is a relic from college, back when I purchased kitchen implements from the supermarket aisle. And of course, the new peeler made short work of peeling the carrot, sliding through the flesh like a hot knife through butter.

I tried the Santoku, and was secretly pleased that I didn't like it, especially when the Cutco Guy quoted a price that was one and a half times as much as we had secretly agreed on. "Hmmm", I thought to myself, "maybe I'll make it out of this with just a peeler." Then I moved on to the cheese knife. Our old plastic cheese slicer had recently been eaten by our dog. (In his defense, it was covered with delicious cheese residue and handed to him by our two year old when I wasn't looking.) It was even better than the peeler, a pure delight to use. Soon I had turned the whole block into a stack of perfect half-inch squares of cheese.

Okay, so a cheese knife and a peeler. Surely that is under what we were planning to spend anyway, right? And then I saw it - The Vegetable Slayer, a knife so beautiful, so perfect, that it was practically calling my name, "Come on, you know you want to....feel my perfect balance, admire the way the light shines off my snubbed blade". It was fabulous, I felt so deliciously chef-like wielding a specialty knife. Sort of a cross between a Chinese cleaver and a Japanese sashimi knife, the Vegetable Slayer sliced my carrot like it wasn't even there.

Now, I need a new knife like I need a new car, that is to say the one in the garage runs fine, it's just a little old and lacking in style - certainly no reason to replace it. The knives in my drawer do all the things knifes are supposed to do, they are just a little old and lacking in style. "So how much is this one?" I casually inquired. I'm pretty sure I managed not to drop my jaw at his response, but it was a close thing. Well, that settles it I thought. The Vegetable Slayer will have to remain a mythical beast, at least in the Jackson household. The Cutco Guy, being very good at his job, must have seen me start to close down, because he quickly started offering deals. "Sooooo.......I see you like that knife.....hows about I throw in the peeler if you also buy the cheese knife?". Hmmmmm, tempting. "We did just get our tax return", whispered my husband, not helping at all.

Needless to say, I am now a few hundred dollars poorer. But I have two bitchin' knifes, a really sharp peeler....and a 2 quart saucepan. I am so easy.