Mr. Observant Man and his Sidekick, Oblivious Girl

I was once asked what superpower I would like to have if such a thing were possible. Possible? What are you talking about sister, I do have a superpower! I am Oblivious Girl! Sure, if given a choice, I might like some other power - telekinesis, flying, x-ray vision, but I've been endowed with something else - the ability to remain completely and totally oblivious to my surroundings no matter how interesting or perilous they might be. This is remarkably good for my stress level. "What? I almost hit a bus? Really?", "What? There was a pervy guy staring at me menacingly? Really?, "What? My toddler just climbed to the top of the refrigerator and came back with a cookie? Really?

One might think that obliviousness is a liability. I say it's an asset. There are many things in life I might never have attempted had I not been oblivious to the level of difficulty. "What? It's over-ambitious to enter 47 projects in the county fair? I got all blue ribbons (and three purple!).""What, most people don't graduate in four years with a double major in two totally different disaplines and study abroad. Really?""What, it's insane to coordinate and cater a wedding for 100 people at a site with no electricity or running water? I think I pulled it off pretty well."

My power is most noticeable in relation to my complete lack of a sense of direction. I get lost a lot. I tend to build it in to my schedule now, although these days Google Maps has significantly cut down on the time I allow for aimless wondering. I've happened across some interesting things this way (not that I noticed). I could get lost in a town of only 900 people (done it!). I could get lost in a shopping mall I had been two at least once a month for 18 years (done it!). I could get lost in a room with one door (done it!). My husband misunderstands my ability. He is sure that I am willfully ignoring my surroundings in a strange campaign to irritate him. Of course, he is Mr. Observant Man.

Mr. Observant Man lets nothing slip by him. Details stick like insects on the flypaper of his mind. "Did you see that woman in the purple tube top, pink sequined shorts and wraparound shades? She has a nose ring shaped like a ladybug." "I must have missed her." replies Oblivious Girl. Mr. Observant Man points and says, "Look Out!" "For what?" says Oblivious Girl, looking in the opposite direction.

Sure, we're an unlikely match. But after all, opposites attract. If you think about it, we compliment each other nicely. Can you imagine two oblivious people together? They would surely get lost, never to be seen again. Or two observers? That just sounds boring.